Wishing on a star

Last night after both husband and son had fallen asleep, I was still wide awake watching mindless television. I decided to get up and check on Keegan one last time before bed and as I made my way towards his room I stepped outside onto the deck so I could breath in some fresh night air (the humidity finally broke!). It was so peaceful and dark out and there was no moon so I could see what seemed like a billion stars.

I just sat there, breathing in the quiet night. After awhile I started a conversation in my head, partly with myself, partly with God. I was begging him for one more miracle, one more chance to feel life growing inside of me and the chance for Keegan to have a sibling and best friend for life. I want this so badly and keep trying to imagine never feeling the miracle of pregnancy or birth again and I just get so SAD at that possibility.

I ended the conversation by saying: Please hear my prayer!! Please show me a sign that you hear me and that it is going to be okay! I looked up and almost immediately saw a shooting star. Right in front of my eyes. You know how sometimes you see them out of the corner of your eye or you look up and see the tail-end of one that you half missed? This one was right there, start to finish, smack dab in front of me. I'm taking that as a sign. Someone was listening and it really is going to be okay.

I have to believe that.