A new week

I must say thank you for being such a supportive group of friends. It is so nice to know that I am not alone because I truly spend much of my time feeling that way IRL. I appreciate you all so very much.

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It is a new week, my friends. I am trying to put last week behind me and do my best to rise above my anger, and my sadness.

We went up north to our cabin last weekend with my best friend, her husband and their two girls (ages 2 and 4). It was exactly what we needed. We relaxed with friends, played with our kids, drank our fill of margaritas once the kids were in bed, and DH and I did not talk once of infertility. All was calm.

I did, of course, tell my best friend (Maggie) about the fight DH and I had and she as always, listened and was so supportive. I tell you - for someone who doesn't have a clue, first-hand, about infertility, she does such a great job of being my friend. I am so blessed to have her in my life and I truly mean that.

Anyway, she let me know that my DH had talked to her husband about our "situation" when they went into to town Saturday morning. I was so surprised because they are good friends but not super close by any means. They have only become good friends due to Maggie and I. So for him to completely open up to him and talk to him about everything we have done and are going through is sort of amazing to me. It actually confirms that he has some serious guilt issues and it is putting everything on his shoulders, which makes me a bit mad. I wish he would just talk and open up about it to me, without getting angry and arguing.

Maggie's husband basically just told him (in a guy sort of way) that it sucks but that he should just suck it up and do what needs to be done. That it'll be worth it in the end. God, I could kiss that man!

Another reason I think DH opened up was being around their daughter who just turned two on Friday. She is such a sweetheart and it is so fun to see how "little" she is still when in reality, she is only a little over a year younger than Keegan. It is amazing how quickly they turn from a baby into a preschooler, you don't even realize it! It was great to be around this sweet little girl but more bittersweet, just reminding us how much we'd love another little one in our lives. It was also so neat to see the two sisters interacting with each other, they have such a bond and I want that for Keegan so much.

DH didn't tell me about the talk he had with Maggie's husband and we still have not brought up the dreadful subject again. I don't know when that conversation will happen or what it will consist of. I guess I will just wait and see because right now, I am too emotionally tired to deal with it.

So, here I am - back at work. Ugh. I am hoping this week proves to be better than last. One foot in front of the other, right??