I had a faint postive OPK yesterday and an even darker positive line today so I am guessing that I'll get an actual positive tomorrow. Which means IUI on Sunday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed because Sunday would work out wonderful - no time off work to worry about for DH (I have Monday off), we have absolutely no plans and my mom is around to watch Keegan.
I still have that nasty cold which sucks but there isn't much I can do about it. I think it may be a sinus infection and I was thinking of going into the doctor to get an antibiotic but at this point in the day I guess I'll just wait until Monday and if I'm not feeling better go in then. I goo*gled antibiotics and TTC, IUI and a million other things to see what the implications were and I didn't find anything bad but who knows? I'm not sure what is worse for TTC - having a virus (or sinus infection) or being on an antibiotic? I just don't want anything to interfere with this cycle. It seems like every month there is something going against us.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
In sickness and in health...
...but mostly sickness. As of the last month anyway. Our household has been passing the same damn virus back and forth over and over and over again. I am so very tired of it.
Late last week I thought to myself, wow - nobody has been sick for three whole days. It feels wonderful!! Keegan was back to his old self - funny, sweet, sleeping and eating well. I almost forgot what it was like to not have him whining 24 hours a day and waking up every 10 minutes during the night crying because he was either so stuffed up or couldn't stop coughing. Almost.
Then Sunday evening rolled around, Keegan started acting weird and when I felt his forehead sure enough, a fever! UGH. By Monday morning, he had started coughing and his nose was running like a faucet. I got him into the doctor and pleaded my case - that this was not normal. We have been sick in our house for the last month and that I just could not take it anymore. What did the doctor say? Sorry. Bad luck. Another virus. Nothing he could do. GREAT.
Now it is Wednesday and I feel like shit. I have another miserable cold, I haven't slept in three nights because when Keegan can't sleep - I can't sleep. And the poor kid, he is just as tired of being sick as DH and I are, maybe more since he can't really understand why it keeps happening.
It is times like these that I really and truly wish that we lived in a warmer climate. One in which you could just open up all your windows, air out the house and disinfect every. single. thing. Although, it probably wouldn't matter for long because the reason this god awful virus keeps infecting us is because Keegan brings it home from daycare. Where, oh where, is summer??
To top it off, our IUI is fast approaching and I am praying - really and truly praying - that DH does not get sick. I also hope I am feeling better by then but even if I'm not, we are doing it. Today is CD 9 so I have a couple days or so before it happens. I am so tired of obstacles standing in our way.
And speaking of in sickness and in health...DH and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary on Saturday. We went on a real date and everything! We went out and relaxed with a couple drinks and good, uninterupted conversation at a pub and then he took me to dinner at one of our all time favorite italian restaurants. It was just a very nice, peaceful night and I really enjoyed spending some one-on-one time with DH as they have been pretty few and far between as of late. What with all the sickness infesting our house and making us all miserable.
I start peeing on sticks tomorrow...
Late last week I thought to myself, wow - nobody has been sick for three whole days. It feels wonderful!! Keegan was back to his old self - funny, sweet, sleeping and eating well. I almost forgot what it was like to not have him whining 24 hours a day and waking up every 10 minutes during the night crying because he was either so stuffed up or couldn't stop coughing. Almost.
Then Sunday evening rolled around, Keegan started acting weird and when I felt his forehead sure enough, a fever! UGH. By Monday morning, he had started coughing and his nose was running like a faucet. I got him into the doctor and pleaded my case - that this was not normal. We have been sick in our house for the last month and that I just could not take it anymore. What did the doctor say? Sorry. Bad luck. Another virus. Nothing he could do. GREAT.
Now it is Wednesday and I feel like shit. I have another miserable cold, I haven't slept in three nights because when Keegan can't sleep - I can't sleep. And the poor kid, he is just as tired of being sick as DH and I are, maybe more since he can't really understand why it keeps happening.
It is times like these that I really and truly wish that we lived in a warmer climate. One in which you could just open up all your windows, air out the house and disinfect every. single. thing. Although, it probably wouldn't matter for long because the reason this god awful virus keeps infecting us is because Keegan brings it home from daycare. Where, oh where, is summer??
To top it off, our IUI is fast approaching and I am praying - really and truly praying - that DH does not get sick. I also hope I am feeling better by then but even if I'm not, we are doing it. Today is CD 9 so I have a couple days or so before it happens. I am so tired of obstacles standing in our way.
And speaking of in sickness and in health...DH and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary on Saturday. We went on a real date and everything! We went out and relaxed with a couple drinks and good, uninterupted conversation at a pub and then he took me to dinner at one of our all time favorite italian restaurants. It was just a very nice, peaceful night and I really enjoyed spending some one-on-one time with DH as they have been pretty few and far between as of late. What with all the sickness infesting our house and making us all miserable.
I start peeing on sticks tomorrow...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
To whom it may concern
A year ago in January, they cut out infertility coverage entirely from my company's insurance policy. Up until then, they covered all diagnostic testing as well as six IUIs and all perscriptions (with a small $15-$35 co-pay). It also covered 80/20 on a ton of other infertility related expenses. Now - nothing. Not one single penny is covered.
I'm thinking of writing a letter (to the ignorant bastards in charge of making these types of decision in my company) about how much it sucks ass that they discontinued all infertility coverage. Of course, I would try to bit more tactful than that but I'm thinking it would be a good idea. Oh, did I mention that among other random things they changed in our policy, they added full coverage of perscription "quit smoking" options? I mean, smoking is a choice. Therefore, any medical problems associated with smoking are the consequences of that choice. And as difficult as it may be, a person can choose to quit. Infertility...not a choice. Why the hell isn't infertility considered a serious medical condistion or a type of disease or disorder? It's such bullshit. But hey, I'm not bitter.
Even if they did take it seriously (which may be a long shot) it most likely wouldn't benefit me. But if there is the slightest chance that it helps someone else down the road, it would most certainly be worthwhile.
I'm thinking of writing a letter (to the ignorant bastards in charge of making these types of decision in my company) about how much it sucks ass that they discontinued all infertility coverage. Of course, I would try to bit more tactful than that but I'm thinking it would be a good idea. Oh, did I mention that among other random things they changed in our policy, they added full coverage of perscription "quit smoking" options? I mean, smoking is a choice. Therefore, any medical problems associated with smoking are the consequences of that choice. And as difficult as it may be, a person can choose to quit. Infertility...not a choice. Why the hell isn't infertility considered a serious medical condistion or a type of disease or disorder? It's such bullshit. But hey, I'm not bitter.
Even if they did take it seriously (which may be a long shot) it most likely wouldn't benefit me. But if there is the slightest chance that it helps someone else down the road, it would most certainly be worthwhile.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Let's try this again
Today is CD1 and I'm not even going to get into why that sucks. I am focusing on the fact that come hell or high water, we are doing an IUI in less that two weeks. We are finally going to take a positive step towards getting pregnant and that is such a good feeling. I am going to make sure to start POAS on CD9 this cycle so there is no way in hell that I'll miss ovulation or our chance to move forward with IUI. Also, we have totally cleared that window of time schedule-wise and I may even take some days off around that time for the hell of it. I figure the less stress, the better. While we are doing a natural IUI, I am pulling out all the stops (that I personally can) to make sure that it is successful. If, at the end of the cycle, we do not have success - well, then, I'll be talking my my RE about ultrasound monitoring and fertility drugs. This madness has to end.
I spend Saturday night with my high school girlfriends, their husbands and kids. All of them (except me) have two kids. Two of them are pregnant with their third. Both of the pregnant ones started trying well after we did. You can just imagine the conversations that I had to endure. The complaining about how often they have to pee and blah, blah, blah. At one point, the conversation turned to how many more kids everyone wanted and/or planned on having. I think they all have a pretty good idea that DH and I have "issues" in that department although I have never talked to any of them about it. But I know they know something is up because nobody asks us directly or looks in our direction while the conversation is taking place. Sometimes, I deal well with those conversations, sometimes not. Saturday was a not. I felt like smashing something.
To add fuel to the fire, at one point Keegan came out from playing with all the other kids and loudly stated, "There are too many children in that room!!" I must admit it was cute because he look genuienly annoyed with the situation. But then someone (maybe it was me? I honestly don't know) said, "Wow, I guess you can tell which one is an only child." Everyone kind of laughed about it but I can honestly say that my laugh was fake. The whole episode kept replaying in my mind.
On the car ride home DH looked at me and said, "You can tell Keegan is an only child. He really needs a sibling." Apparently, the comment got to him as well. I tried to make light of his comment and said, "Hmmmm...I guess we should start trying then, huh?" and smiled at him.
I am always doing that. Trying to make it easier for him. I guess because it is technically his "issue"? Like maybe if I couldn't ovulate regularly then I wouldn't feel the need to soften everything for him, downplay everything or smile when I really feel like crying? Maybe then I would be able to say what I feel to those pregnant people who are talking at a party about how annoying it is to pee all the time. I could look them in the eye and say, "Be grateful!"
I spend Saturday night with my high school girlfriends, their husbands and kids. All of them (except me) have two kids. Two of them are pregnant with their third. Both of the pregnant ones started trying well after we did. You can just imagine the conversations that I had to endure. The complaining about how often they have to pee and blah, blah, blah. At one point, the conversation turned to how many more kids everyone wanted and/or planned on having. I think they all have a pretty good idea that DH and I have "issues" in that department although I have never talked to any of them about it. But I know they know something is up because nobody asks us directly or looks in our direction while the conversation is taking place. Sometimes, I deal well with those conversations, sometimes not. Saturday was a not. I felt like smashing something.
To add fuel to the fire, at one point Keegan came out from playing with all the other kids and loudly stated, "There are too many children in that room!!" I must admit it was cute because he look genuienly annoyed with the situation. But then someone (maybe it was me? I honestly don't know) said, "Wow, I guess you can tell which one is an only child." Everyone kind of laughed about it but I can honestly say that my laugh was fake. The whole episode kept replaying in my mind.
On the car ride home DH looked at me and said, "You can tell Keegan is an only child. He really needs a sibling." Apparently, the comment got to him as well. I tried to make light of his comment and said, "Hmmmm...I guess we should start trying then, huh?" and smiled at him.
I am always doing that. Trying to make it easier for him. I guess because it is technically his "issue"? Like maybe if I couldn't ovulate regularly then I wouldn't feel the need to soften everything for him, downplay everything or smile when I really feel like crying? Maybe then I would be able to say what I feel to those pregnant people who are talking at a party about how annoying it is to pee all the time. I could look them in the eye and say, "Be grateful!"
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Another attempt bites the dust
Well, IUI attempt #2 was a bust. For someone who is usually so regular and can read her body like a book - this cycle is uncharacteristically WHACKED.
I began peeing on OPKs on CD11 and much to my surpise, it was a dark positive. Normally this would be great news but (1) I had nothing to reference it with so I didn't know if it was the first positive day or the third. (2) I never ovulate this early, didn't feel any physically signs of ovulating and truly didn't quite believe I was about to ovulate. (3) DH and I both had (seperate) out of town plans for the next day and couldn't reschedule.
I was pissed off but accepted that the situation was out of my control and we'd have to wait (again) for an IUI next cycle. I didn't pee on any more tests and went about my temping. A day went by. Then two. Then three. Fast forward to today, CD17 and my temp still hasn't risen significantly. It did go up from 97.3 to 97.9 but I usually end up over 98.0 after ovulation. In fact, I don't ever remember being under that. Ever. Granted, it is only .01 degree difference but still. I am wondering if I really did ovulate or not? Also, the last day or so I have had pretty strong ovulation-type pains and I didn't have any around the time I took the OPK. So maybe I just haven't ovulated yet. Maybe those sticks are total crap. I just don't know.
I did call my clinic and ask the nurse about ultrasound monitoring and she said it was my call. The problem is, we were planning on $250-$300 per IUI and with monitoring it would be around $1,500 per IUI. Quite a difference and also a step that I am not sure is neccessary quite yet - then again, maybe that is wishful thinking just like the days when you are sure that there is nothing wrong and you'll end up pregnant any day now. Ha! Ha, ha.
I'm thinking of buying a fertility monitor for next cycle. It seems like a good compromise to me. And while it isn't cheap, it is much, much cheaper than $1,500. I really and truly just do not want to miss ovulation again. In fact, I think I'll start peeing on OPKs around CD9 and use the fertility monitor as well. That should do the trick....
I began peeing on OPKs on CD11 and much to my surpise, it was a dark positive. Normally this would be great news but (1) I had nothing to reference it with so I didn't know if it was the first positive day or the third. (2) I never ovulate this early, didn't feel any physically signs of ovulating and truly didn't quite believe I was about to ovulate. (3) DH and I both had (seperate) out of town plans for the next day and couldn't reschedule.
I was pissed off but accepted that the situation was out of my control and we'd have to wait (again) for an IUI next cycle. I didn't pee on any more tests and went about my temping. A day went by. Then two. Then three. Fast forward to today, CD17 and my temp still hasn't risen significantly. It did go up from 97.3 to 97.9 but I usually end up over 98.0 after ovulation. In fact, I don't ever remember being under that. Ever. Granted, it is only .01 degree difference but still. I am wondering if I really did ovulate or not? Also, the last day or so I have had pretty strong ovulation-type pains and I didn't have any around the time I took the OPK. So maybe I just haven't ovulated yet. Maybe those sticks are total crap. I just don't know.
I did call my clinic and ask the nurse about ultrasound monitoring and she said it was my call. The problem is, we were planning on $250-$300 per IUI and with monitoring it would be around $1,500 per IUI. Quite a difference and also a step that I am not sure is neccessary quite yet - then again, maybe that is wishful thinking just like the days when you are sure that there is nothing wrong and you'll end up pregnant any day now. Ha! Ha, ha.
I'm thinking of buying a fertility monitor for next cycle. It seems like a good compromise to me. And while it isn't cheap, it is much, much cheaper than $1,500. I really and truly just do not want to miss ovulation again. In fact, I think I'll start peeing on OPKs around CD9 and use the fertility monitor as well. That should do the trick....
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