I am quickly learning that Lupron is not my friend.
The shots themselves are easy and mostly painless. I take the shot around 6:30-7:00am and all is well but by the evenings I have started to get really bad stomach pains - like my whole belly hurts and it just does not feel good at all. Also, as far as food goes, nothing looks or tastes good and everything just ends up grossing me out. I've also noticed that I'm getting really short tempered. I'm just sort of on edge the last two days or so and I've heard this is a pretty common side effect. It also have to do with the fact that I just sort of feel crappy but either way, I would like to snap out of it. All of it is very manageable but I just thought I would make note.
Not too much else is happening, just chugging along and hoping that the next two weeks go by quickly and end successfully!!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Shooting up
The drugs arrived on Friday with plenty of time to spare. Even though I sort of knew what to expect and had seen other people's pictures of all the medications, it was a bit overwhelming to open that box and see the contents. Wow! That is a lot of needles.
I started with the Lupron on Sunday and so far, so good. The sub-q injections really don't bother me a bit. Although today I must have hit a vein or something because the needle kind of stuck and then when I pulled it out it started bleeding quite a bit. Now I have a nice bruise. Oh well, I'm sure it won't be the last! Right now I'm only doing the one shot a day so we'll see how I'm feeling when I'm doing three injections a day.
I also took my last pill today - hurray!! I'm so happy to be done with that crappy, disgusting pill. I swear here and now that I will never, ever take another bc pill as long as I live! Now I just do my Lupron injection each morning until the 26th when hopefully I will start stimming. I have an u/s next Tuesday the 23rd and I guess they'll be able to see then if the Lupron is working and that everything looks quiet and calm.
I'm starting to get excited and am ready to get this show on the road. I am trying to think lots of positive thoughts and really hope that all goes smoothly.
I started with the Lupron on Sunday and so far, so good. The sub-q injections really don't bother me a bit. Although today I must have hit a vein or something because the needle kind of stuck and then when I pulled it out it started bleeding quite a bit. Now I have a nice bruise. Oh well, I'm sure it won't be the last! Right now I'm only doing the one shot a day so we'll see how I'm feeling when I'm doing three injections a day.
I also took my last pill today - hurray!! I'm so happy to be done with that crappy, disgusting pill. I swear here and now that I will never, ever take another bc pill as long as I live! Now I just do my Lupron injection each morning until the 26th when hopefully I will start stimming. I have an u/s next Tuesday the 23rd and I guess they'll be able to see then if the Lupron is working and that everything looks quiet and calm.
I'm starting to get excited and am ready to get this show on the road. I am trying to think lots of positive thoughts and really hope that all goes smoothly.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Yikes
My drugs were supposed to arrive by noon today but instead they are stuck in Memphis due to weather problems. Great. Good thing I don't need them until Sunday or I would truly be freaking out. I just hope that they arrive tomorrow - I do not want to cut it too close. The man at the pharmacy swears up and down that they will for sure be here tomorrow. I swear, I've spend more time on the phone with the pharmacy. In the last 24 hrs, I think I've talked to them more than my husband!
There is nothing easy about IF.
There is nothing easy about IF.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I'm officially penniless!
After $10,372 paid to the clinic and $786 paid to the pharmacy, I think we are good to go. As much as the money makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit, I do feel some sense of relief that the payment portion is over and done with and there is nowhere to go but forward. It sucks - big time - that infertility is not a "valid" medical condition and that while DH and I both have good health insurance, not a dime goes towards any of this. Frustrating! I'm going to try and put it out of my head and concentrate on the important part - which is getting pregnant.
I should receive my stash of drugs in the mail by noon tomorrow and then I will begin the Lupron injections on Sunday. Let the good times roll! I am just praying and praying that everything goes off without a hitch and we are successful.
I did not decide yet about the embryos and freezing. Although I did have to provide a credit card number today, we do not have to decide which route we are going to take until the day of transfer. At that time if we have left over embryos and decide to freeze, they will charge us the $825.
I am just so up in the air on this one. I asked the nurse if down the road we could do a 100% natural FET and she said, "Of course you can but the success rates are not that great." Well, whatever. By going this route, I would not be holding my breath that something like that would end in success anyway. It would be more of a moral way to dispose of the "leftovers". Or is that a weird way to think? I'm so confused. Part of me just wants to say screw it and forget it but jeez, we've been trying for over three years to get pregnant this time around - over five years total - and to just "throw away" embryos seems wrong on so many levels. At the same time, after this IVF cycle, I need to be done. I cannot put myself through this rollercoaster any longer.
Enough of that rant - we have some time to decide. And who even knows if there will be any embryos to freeze anyway. Right now I should just be hoping that we have enough embryos for this cycle! Please, please think positive thoughts for us!!
I should receive my stash of drugs in the mail by noon tomorrow and then I will begin the Lupron injections on Sunday. Let the good times roll! I am just praying and praying that everything goes off without a hitch and we are successful.
I did not decide yet about the embryos and freezing. Although I did have to provide a credit card number today, we do not have to decide which route we are going to take until the day of transfer. At that time if we have left over embryos and decide to freeze, they will charge us the $825.
I am just so up in the air on this one. I asked the nurse if down the road we could do a 100% natural FET and she said, "Of course you can but the success rates are not that great." Well, whatever. By going this route, I would not be holding my breath that something like that would end in success anyway. It would be more of a moral way to dispose of the "leftovers". Or is that a weird way to think? I'm so confused. Part of me just wants to say screw it and forget it but jeez, we've been trying for over three years to get pregnant this time around - over five years total - and to just "throw away" embryos seems wrong on so many levels. At the same time, after this IVF cycle, I need to be done. I cannot put myself through this rollercoaster any longer.
Enough of that rant - we have some time to decide. And who even knows if there will be any embryos to freeze anyway. Right now I should just be hoping that we have enough embryos for this cycle! Please, please think positive thoughts for us!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
CD 16 - still chugging ahead!
Sorry for the lack up updating! Work has been crazy busy and I ended up going on a very last minute business trip for four days last week/weekend and am now just finally getting back into the swing of things.
The combination of the birth control and antibiotic turned out to be terrible. I felt nauseated every day and generally felt miserable but the first day off of the antibiotic I felt a million times better. Now, as long as I have food in my belly, I am doing fine. Only one week left on the pill - hurray!
I had blood work last week ($498 worth! Yes, another unexpected cost!) and also the shot teaching class which was nice because I was the only "student" that showed up. Therefore, I received one on one attention and the nurse event took my packet and made a bunch of hand written notes for further details on mixing etc. I feel pretty good about all the sub-q shots that will be in my belly but I am a little nervous about the PIO shots that will go in my butt. They look and sound painful. I'm also a little worried that DH will be able to do them and may have to call in reforcements (my mom or best friend). But that just seems very inconvenient so we'll have to see as the time draws nearer.
I have my nurse consult appointment tomorrow and it should be interesting. I think I feel pretty good about this cycle and all that it entails but I do have a few questions about embryos (if we were to end up with any), freezing and natural FET. It is definitely putting the horse before the cart but they don't give me much choice because I am supposed to pre-pay tomorrow if I want to freeze embryos. I have definitely come to the conclusion that after this (and if it isn't successful, god forbid) I am done with shots, ultrasounds, etc. The only way I would do an FET is if it could be a completely natural one.
I'll be dropping over $10,000 tomorrow. Ugh. I just pray every single day (usually many times each day) that this will all be worth it and it will be successful. I feel it in my bones that there is a baby just waiting to be made!
I promise to do a much better job of updating and will stop by here after my appointment tomorrow to let you know how it went. My pockets will definitely be a lot lighter!
The combination of the birth control and antibiotic turned out to be terrible. I felt nauseated every day and generally felt miserable but the first day off of the antibiotic I felt a million times better. Now, as long as I have food in my belly, I am doing fine. Only one week left on the pill - hurray!
I had blood work last week ($498 worth! Yes, another unexpected cost!) and also the shot teaching class which was nice because I was the only "student" that showed up. Therefore, I received one on one attention and the nurse event took my packet and made a bunch of hand written notes for further details on mixing etc. I feel pretty good about all the sub-q shots that will be in my belly but I am a little nervous about the PIO shots that will go in my butt. They look and sound painful. I'm also a little worried that DH will be able to do them and may have to call in reforcements (my mom or best friend). But that just seems very inconvenient so we'll have to see as the time draws nearer.
I have my nurse consult appointment tomorrow and it should be interesting. I think I feel pretty good about this cycle and all that it entails but I do have a few questions about embryos (if we were to end up with any), freezing and natural FET. It is definitely putting the horse before the cart but they don't give me much choice because I am supposed to pre-pay tomorrow if I want to freeze embryos. I have definitely come to the conclusion that after this (and if it isn't successful, god forbid) I am done with shots, ultrasounds, etc. The only way I would do an FET is if it could be a completely natural one.
I'll be dropping over $10,000 tomorrow. Ugh. I just pray every single day (usually many times each day) that this will all be worth it and it will be successful. I feel it in my bones that there is a baby just waiting to be made!
I promise to do a much better job of updating and will stop by here after my appointment tomorrow to let you know how it went. My pockets will definitely be a lot lighter!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Quick recap of the last four days (plus cost breakdown)
I'm going to do my best to keep a day by day account of what I am going through this cycle. I'm keeping a seperate journal for this but I will copy and paste it here as well so that you can all follow along with where I am at - mentally and physically.
Also, LaLa asked about costs for an IVF w/ICSI and I'll answer the best I can. Just a reminder, we have no infertility coverage which means absolutely nothing to do with the IVF cycle is covered - including tests, monitoring, meds, etc. We are paying 100% out of pocket. I don't have a full grasp on what the meds are going to cost us yet but I'll know by March 10 and will update again at that point. My doctor is donating the Follistim to us so that will save us some money but I expect to still pay around $1,000 for the remaining meds. My cycle (period) started on February 22. I had to pay $20 for birth control and the antibiotic on February 23. I have a Trail Transfer scheduled for March 5 and that costs $75. We have to pay a "downpayment" of $9,442 on March 10. Since we are opting to do ICSI, we will also need to pay $930 on March 10 - for a total of $10,372. If we want to do cryopreservation (freeze embryos), we will have to pay an additional $825 on that day as well. That cost includes the freezing and first six months of storage. I'm not sure if we are doing this or not. I think that is it for now, but I will keep you posted as I go along. When it is all said and done, we'll probably be paying around $13,000.
Here is my four day re-cap:
CD1
I don’t know what it is about the infertile and our inability to let hope die. Every month, whether it is a treatment cycle or not, I hold out hope. I hope that this is going to our month and that a miracle will happen and spare us from any more pain. This month is no different. I thought that surely we would end up miraculously pregnant and we would be spared from having to go through IVF. Because really? I never thought we’d be here. Our infertility “issues” aren’t even that serious – I mean, we were able to naturally conceive a baby once. What’s stopping us from doing it again?? I guess I’ll never know the answer to that because here we go…today is CD 1 of IVF#1. Now if only I could swallow this huge lump in my throat.
CD2
Today my fertility clinic and I were able to kick off this IVF cycle together. I went in for a blood draw and also received a prescription for birth control pills and an antibiotic. These are the only two medications I’ll take in the next six weeks that will be covered by insurance. The rest will all be completely out of pocket (deep breath in, deep breath out...). I must say that my RE is gifting me all of the Follistim that I’ll need for the cycle, so at least I won’t have to pay for that which is wonderful. Every little bit helps.
CD3
I’m looking at that little red pill and partly thinking, “Here we go! And so it begins!” but mostly I am thinking, “Oh God, I wonder what time I am going to start puking??” Have I mentioned how much I HATE birth control pills? We do not get along. I only have 21 days to go until I can stop taking them. It’s going to be a very long three weeks. It’s 9:51 am and the pill has officially been swallowed. Stay tuned…
CD4
I started feeling pretty creepy late in the day yesterday and by about 7pm I felt the worst BUT it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I would be puking for sure but it didn’t happen. After I peaked out around 7pm, I started coming around and felt pretty normal by the time I went to bed at 11pm. So, that is great news! We’ll see how I do after I take pill number two but if last night is the worst it is going to get, I can take it! The next 20 days will go by a lot more smoothly now that I know that I won’t be puking every single day.
I got another packet in the mail yesterday and it outlines my meds a little more. I’m kind of confused because there are more meds listed than I thought I would need. I thought I only needed the Follistim and Lupron but the stuff I got yesterday also lists Menopur. Also, it lists Vivelle (no idea what that is) and both the progesterone shots as well as the suppositories. Ugh. I hope I don’t need both of them! I thought it is usually one or the other? I guess I’ll find out a lot more at my RN consult on March 10. It should be interesting to see how much they all cost. I guess it is sort of a moot point at this time. It is what it is. We are doing this.
I also received information about freezing embryos. I need to do a lot of thinking about this. I’m not sure we’ll be doing this. I know, for a fact, that we will not go through a FET. I just can’t imagine doing this again. And the cost? Ugh. Not going to happen. I don’t know enough about FETs though to know if you can just do some sort of natural FET? Maybe that would be an option? But then I would still have the issue of paying for the freezing and storage. Also, if this cycle doesn’t work – I really want to be done. I do not want to live cycle to cycle anymore and I do not want to go on an emotional rollercoaster again. Whatever we decide, we have until March 10 to figure it out.
Also, LaLa asked about costs for an IVF w/ICSI and I'll answer the best I can. Just a reminder, we have no infertility coverage which means absolutely nothing to do with the IVF cycle is covered - including tests, monitoring, meds, etc. We are paying 100% out of pocket. I don't have a full grasp on what the meds are going to cost us yet but I'll know by March 10 and will update again at that point. My doctor is donating the Follistim to us so that will save us some money but I expect to still pay around $1,000 for the remaining meds. My cycle (period) started on February 22. I had to pay $20 for birth control and the antibiotic on February 23. I have a Trail Transfer scheduled for March 5 and that costs $75. We have to pay a "downpayment" of $9,442 on March 10. Since we are opting to do ICSI, we will also need to pay $930 on March 10 - for a total of $10,372. If we want to do cryopreservation (freeze embryos), we will have to pay an additional $825 on that day as well. That cost includes the freezing and first six months of storage. I'm not sure if we are doing this or not. I think that is it for now, but I will keep you posted as I go along. When it is all said and done, we'll probably be paying around $13,000.
Here is my four day re-cap:
CD1
I don’t know what it is about the infertile and our inability to let hope die. Every month, whether it is a treatment cycle or not, I hold out hope. I hope that this is going to our month and that a miracle will happen and spare us from any more pain. This month is no different. I thought that surely we would end up miraculously pregnant and we would be spared from having to go through IVF. Because really? I never thought we’d be here. Our infertility “issues” aren’t even that serious – I mean, we were able to naturally conceive a baby once. What’s stopping us from doing it again?? I guess I’ll never know the answer to that because here we go…today is CD 1 of IVF#1. Now if only I could swallow this huge lump in my throat.
CD2
Today my fertility clinic and I were able to kick off this IVF cycle together. I went in for a blood draw and also received a prescription for birth control pills and an antibiotic. These are the only two medications I’ll take in the next six weeks that will be covered by insurance. The rest will all be completely out of pocket (deep breath in, deep breath out...). I must say that my RE is gifting me all of the Follistim that I’ll need for the cycle, so at least I won’t have to pay for that which is wonderful. Every little bit helps.
CD3
I’m looking at that little red pill and partly thinking, “Here we go! And so it begins!” but mostly I am thinking, “Oh God, I wonder what time I am going to start puking??” Have I mentioned how much I HATE birth control pills? We do not get along. I only have 21 days to go until I can stop taking them. It’s going to be a very long three weeks. It’s 9:51 am and the pill has officially been swallowed. Stay tuned…
CD4
I started feeling pretty creepy late in the day yesterday and by about 7pm I felt the worst BUT it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I would be puking for sure but it didn’t happen. After I peaked out around 7pm, I started coming around and felt pretty normal by the time I went to bed at 11pm. So, that is great news! We’ll see how I do after I take pill number two but if last night is the worst it is going to get, I can take it! The next 20 days will go by a lot more smoothly now that I know that I won’t be puking every single day.
I got another packet in the mail yesterday and it outlines my meds a little more. I’m kind of confused because there are more meds listed than I thought I would need. I thought I only needed the Follistim and Lupron but the stuff I got yesterday also lists Menopur. Also, it lists Vivelle (no idea what that is) and both the progesterone shots as well as the suppositories. Ugh. I hope I don’t need both of them! I thought it is usually one or the other? I guess I’ll find out a lot more at my RN consult on March 10. It should be interesting to see how much they all cost. I guess it is sort of a moot point at this time. It is what it is. We are doing this.
I also received information about freezing embryos. I need to do a lot of thinking about this. I’m not sure we’ll be doing this. I know, for a fact, that we will not go through a FET. I just can’t imagine doing this again. And the cost? Ugh. Not going to happen. I don’t know enough about FETs though to know if you can just do some sort of natural FET? Maybe that would be an option? But then I would still have the issue of paying for the freezing and storage. Also, if this cycle doesn’t work – I really want to be done. I do not want to live cycle to cycle anymore and I do not want to go on an emotional rollercoaster again. Whatever we decide, we have until March 10 to figure it out.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
CD 3 of IVF/ICSI #1 (and only)
After much back and forth, plenty of discussion and lots of pros and cons listed out, we decided to move forward with a one and only, last ditch attempt to get pregnant, IVF cycle. Today, I am officially on CD 3 and I just took my first birth control pill. Please wish us luck, pray for us and think lots of good thoughts. Also, if you have any advice along the way, please let me know.
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