I'm still here, still undecided. Although...I may be very close to choosing a path. I've been giving it a lot of thought and I'm really starting to think that I may be done. Maybe not totally done "trying" naturally because I'm still not sure how I would do that. When you can strongly feel yourself ovulate, it is very hard to ignore and not TTC. BUT I may not do another IUI or any other medical treatment. I can't say that for sure quite yet but it is starting to feel more and more like the right thing. I am tired.
Work has been so busy and that has been taking much of my time. I've also been working on my photography hobby and having a lot of fun with that. My adorable niece is giving me my baby fix and somehow being around her give me peace. She is six months now and just so much fun. My best friend is due in about three weeks and I am looking forward to that as well. I am excited to meet her baby but I am also excited that she will no longer be pregnant and I will never again have to go through her being pregnant (can you say selfish!?) because this is her last baby.
I'm looking forward to the fall and the change of seasons. For some reason it feels like it will be a new beginning or a fresh start. Of what? I do not know, that is just how it feels to me. I feel as though I am waiting but I'm not exactly sure for what.
This fall will also bring the last year of preschool for my little boy. I cannot believe we are a year away from him starting kindergarten! He is getting so big and I cannot believe it. It all goes so fast. He has lost most of his baby fat (chubbiness) and is now tall and long and lean. It is very bittersweet.
So, not much to report. I don't know what CD day it is. I am not in the middle of a treatment. I do not have any symptoms or counts to report. I still don't know what path I am going to take.
For now, I just am.
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1 comment:
Thank you, this was a lovely, blog to read. I totally understand how you feel and don't think you are selfish at all. I have been TTC for nearly 5 years now. My first baby died at 29 weeks and my second pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 6 weeks. In the last year and a half over (and I kid you not) 100 women I personally know have been pregnant. I stopped counting at 50 and now I wish I had carried on counting so I would know the exact numbers. I keep going between giving up and carrying on. You are blessed to have your son. Good luck with whatever path you choose...
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