The whole point of this particular blog is to have an outlet in which to bitch, piss and moan about the unfairness of infertility. BUT. Sometimes, when I look at this blog I feel like it is so depressing and not a realistic portrayal of who I am.
I mean, yes, I am in the throws of infertility and it effects my life drastically. I also need a place to vent and a support group who gets what I am going through and for that, I am thankful for this outlet. But I do sometimes wish I would blog about my whole life, not just the shitty part. Ya know? In the real world I do not talk about infertility to anyone really - basically, just my husband and my best friend but even that is a bit limited because my best friend is great but also very fertile and my husband is well, my husband. If you've been reading, you know he tends to be hit or miss on the IF support. I do make comments here and there to certain family members but I truly don't discuss in detail what I am going through with anyone. Therefore, when I vent on here, I tend to go all out - and it maybe appears as though all I think about or talk about is IF when that is not the case at all.
I read so many blogs - not just infertility blogs. I read blogs about parenting, running, losing weight, gardening, writing, photography, funny blogs, sad blogs, etc. But yet, all I really write about is IF.
Is that okay? Of course. But there is so much more to me than that.
I've been slowly trying to take up photography as a hobby and desperately want to learn more. Unfortunately, I'm time challenged. But I am hoping to change that. DH is setting me up with a professional photographer that he knows so that he can teach me some tricks. I am so excited! I got a Cann*on Re*bel xti for Christmas so that is what I've been learning on. It is such a challenge and I know so little but I love it!
I am a read-a-holic and I always have a book on hand. It is my most favorite selfish thing to do. DH bought me a giant book shelf several years back and it has been long since been filled. Now, I have stack of books piled around it and truly need to invest in another one (or two). We just put in a fireplace this spring and have yet to build a surround for it so I'm thinking maybe I could incorporate a bookshelf on either side of it. Did I mention that I love to keep all my books as well? LOL. I am happy to borrow (or even give them) to friends or family but for the most part - I like to keep them. Why? Who knows, just a weird quirk. Keegan also has quite the book collection started even though he is three. DH is always saying we should pack some away but I won't let him. I let Keegan pick out two books every night before bed and I think he is going to enjoy reading as much as I do. I hope so at least.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't want IF to take over my life - in any way - because it is easy to let that happen. And I deserve more than that. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it rips my heart out over and over again. But I need focus on putting life into perspective and know that I can rise above it.
3 comments:
Well, I don't think you're boring, but then again, I'm possibly infertility obsessed myself. Here's a new shorthand word-IO (infertility obsessed). I'll throw it out there when you look like you're heading that way! ;) And it turns out that we have many of the same interests...I'm into photography and a read-aholic myself. There's nothing like a good book! BTW You should check out goodreads.com. It's a fun place for book people. And I was just thinking today that maybe I should start another blog that isn't about my infertility, because there is so much more to life, right? Thanks for blogging, you give me strength in your venting and your insights!=)
I wouldn't say your blog is boring. But then, I am in a similar boat as you, so that may be why. And if you feel you need your blog more as an outlet for your infertility woes, then so be it. I think I try to mix up my journal just so I can make sure I document my son's growth and development since time goes by so quickly and I want to remember it all. Also, in the process, I think I tend to reveal quite a bit about my life in general. Which -hey, might be boring to read as well. I just figure if someone is bored by what I write they probably stopped reading long ago. I guess my point is, feel free to write as much or as little as you want to about yourself. It's your blog!
-Leighann
I am so glad that you have a place to vent. I too, am struggling with infertility. My husband had a vasectomy reversal in Jan. 07. We were able to conceive SO easily in the past(we have 4 children pre vasectomy), and now we are having the hardest time. His counts are perfect now, the dr. sees nothing wrong with me...yet we are 18 months out and no pregnancy. We have been discussing the possibility of IUI, but we just don't know. Infertility is a horrible thing to deal with. My heart goes out to you.
Post a Comment