Remember when I was talking about my (fertile) mother and how she always says the wrong thing? And how I had ordered her a book about infertility to better help her understand. Well...
This was our conversation last night.
Mom: "So, I read that book you gave me. The one about infertility? I had nothing else to read." BTW, I gave it to her about 3-4 wks ago.
Me: "And??"
Mom: "It was depressing!!"
Me: "Yep, tell me about it."
Mom: Completely changes the subject about something else random.
Me: Changing the subject back. "So, now do you have a better idea of what I've been dealing with?"
Mom: "Well, at least you have one child. It's a lot more sad for those who can't have any!"
Me: "I disagree. Just because I had one doesn't mean I don't deserve the family I dream of. Also, having him just makes me want more. I know now what I am missing out on."
Mom: "Hmmmm." And she changes the subject again.
So, obviously, that went well. Money well spent on the book and all. I guess I can't expect her to "get" it because she was as fertile as the day is long but still! The least she could do is be more empathetic and supportive. Plus, I HATE when people assume that because I have one child, then that should be good enough. That's B.S. Not to mention, I struggled to conceive him as well. It wasn't like that was all sunshine and roses.
I'll just on on the record here and say - infertility does not hurt any less the second time around.
Period.
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Oh my god, my fertile mom totally does not get it either! I can tell she thinks it is really weird that I am injecting myself with stuff just to get pregnant, and she's always saying things to me like, "I really wish you would take a break from this and see if you can get pregnant on your own." It's like she thinks if I have to give myself shots to get pregnant, that means I'm some kind of freak and she'd rather just stick her fingers in her ears and say "LA LA LA MY DAUGHTER IS NORMAL NOTHING TO SEE HERE" than think about it. She totally changes the subject when we're talking about it too. Never mind that both times she got pregnant it was by accident--she never even had to "try." Ugh. I totally feel you on this one. I know it hurts.
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