On the rebound

Today is CD5 . My regular ob/gyn gave me a prescription for it and told me to take mucin*ex three times a day from CD5 until after ovulation to help thin out cervical mucus (Clomid can tend to thicken it).I guess I am going to go ahead and take it. I have nothing to lose really. I do feel that I really need a month (or two) where TTC is on the back burner. In the same breath, I don't want to take a complete break so why not take it and boost our chances slightly? I am not going to use OPKs or temp. DH and I will have as much unscheduled sex as we want although we will make a point to hit the "key"days. I know it is going to be easier said than done but I vow to not obsess or stress in any way. I need a break from all of that. Seriously.

And since I am not all TTC, all the time this month...I guess I need to blog about the rest of my life for a change. Wow, that's novel idea!

In job news, I am still, STILL waiting on a promotion that I've been working my ass of for and waiting around for, for almost six months. I am no stranger to frustration, that is true. This whole promotion thing truly needs to come to a head here in the next couple of days. I am so far past disgruntled that it is ridiculous. I have started looking for a new job elsewhere but not seriously yet. I love the location of my job and do not want to have to start commuting and that would most certainly be the case if I left here. I am lucky to find a great job, doing what I want to be doing in my town. I just need to move up, mentally and financially.

I am really looking forward to the long weekend ahead. It cannot get here fast enough. The weather is supposed to be warm and beautiful and I can't wait to relax and enjoy it. I started working on our yard last weekend and have a long way to go. We just built around and remodeled a "new" house two summers ago and while we did a few minor projects last year, this year I need to get serious planting and cleaning up the overgrown yard. I am not much of a green thumb but my mom and grandma are huge into gardening so I hope to follow in their footsteps as time goes along.

Finally, I'm really trying to focus on Keegan and live in the moment with him. I know I don't blog about him here a lot, mostly because I am trying to be sensitive to those who do not have kids yet. I really, really need an infertility support group and I don't want the fact that I have a child to deter people. Infertility robs you from your dreams and toys with a woman's most primal instincts. I hope those who are reading who have not yet had a child understand that whether your dream is to have one baby or five, or whether you are able to conceive once or five times, infertility is just as painful. It may be a different kind of hurt after you have had a son or a daughter than it was the first time but, for me at least, it is not any less. Like I've said before, now on top of all my selfish wants and needs for another baby - I also have Keegan and his future to take into consideration.

I am so glad the summer is almost upon us. I look forward to long, lazy days. Warm sunshine, grilling, relaxing. Enjoying a cold beer on a humid evening with my husband. Digging in the earth and making my yard look colorful. Playing outside with Keegan and remembering what it was like to be young again. Lastly, finding myself and finding some peace.