Saturday, May 2, 2009

Pregnancy announcements

Two pregnancy announcements by friends this week. TWO. It is so unfair but then again, I guess fair flew out the window a long time ago.

To say that I am crawling out of my skin is an understatement. You see - the problem with hope is that it opens up the possibility of being crushed.

I have prayed so much in the past week that I wonder if God has put me on mute. I just want this story to end positively, you know? I do not want IF to win. I want to look back on these (almost) three years and think to myself that it was worth the wait. That the baby I am holding in my arms was worth every minute of heartache. I do not want to have three wasted years with absolutely nothing to show for it but disappointment. I just keep thinking that it cannot possibly end that way. But it could. Hell, it has happened to many.

Two pregnancies.

I have four more days where my life hangs in the balance. I am so tired of this.

4 comments:

babyhopes tlol said...

everything os crossed that you make it lucky #3...news does come in 3's you know!

Anonymous said...

Hoping very, very hard that your own announcement is in the works. The waiting just sucks- I'll be thinking of you all week. Take care, Leslie

LisserB said...

I'm holding on to hope for you.

*hugs*

Catrisha T said...

I'm holding onto hope as well, and eagerly awaiting news??? I'm hoping it's positive. You're in my thoughts.

btw- In case you don't remember me I'm from TLOL as well, and have been following you here for awhile just haven't commented. :)