All sorts of craziness

Remember when I was talking (blogging - whatever) about my doctor was practicing natural healing on me? I don't remember how detailed I got and I'm too lazy to go back and re-read posts so if I repeat myself, sorry.

This is my regular OB/GYN doctor, Dr. G, the one I love and trust. She is a medical doctor and an awesome one at that - but I have quickly learned that she has another side to her. Her own words the other night were something like, "It is amazing the weird shit that seemingly normal people do!" And it is true because this natural healing shit? It's weird. But...I am really starting to believe in it a bit.

What is it? I'm not entirely sure and I am just beginning to learn about it so I wont' really get into explaining the little bit I've read about. Basically, it is all about energy flow. I think. I would guess it is a lot like acupuncture except there are no needles, they just use their hands.

A week ago, I could barely make it through a thought without being on the verge of tears. I felt hopeless and deflated. I really, really was having a rough time. I had emailed Dr. G to let her know that I had gotten my period and she responded shortly after with, "We have to do more healings!! I figure 3-6 and we have some time before your next IUI so let's get busy!" It turns out she has a whole community of friends, "experts" in this whole natural healing thing and she had been talking to them about me. She has gone out of her way to put together a game plan for me and that is probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

I had my second "healing" the other day and I must say, I really and truly FELT something. I've tried to describe it to my DH and my best friend and I cannot really put it into words. It's all motion and heat and afterwards? Calmness. All I know is that it felt good and it felt right. Do I think it'll "cure" our infertility? No, absolutely not. (Although it couldn't hurt either.) Mostly, I think it is going to help me find balance and peace within myself - and that is huge. After the last healing, I felt more connected (to what I'm not sure?) than I have in a long time, maybe ever. I felt grounded. I'm really not trying to sound crazy. I know it is weird and I also have a lot of trouble putting it into words so I know that doesn't help.

So, tomorrow? I am meeting Dr. G and some of her friends at a natural/spiritual healing center and they are all going to do their thing on me. I'm just not sure what that means! Dr. G said that they are going to "heal the shit" out of me. It should be interesting. I will keep you posted on how this whole thing progresses! LOL.

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I also wanted to make a quick comment about my DH. I meant everything I said in the vent about him but I do want to make it clear that he is a good guy. He's a good husband in so many other ways and an awesome dad. I just wish we weren't worlds apart, emotionally speaking. It is one of our biggest struggles and I really don't see it changing so that is extremely frustrating. I just wish every now and then that he would hold me. Just hold me and let me know that I am not in this battle alone.

Thanks for all your support this last cycle - and always. It helps to know that there is someone out there there understands.