Talking with a fertile

So, my newly pregnant sister and I were watching Jo*hn and Ka*te + eigh*t last night together and I suppose because she now is pregnant, she was intrigued with the fact that K had gotten pregnant with six babies. She was wondering out loud how that happened or what type of treatment would cause that. I spoke up.

(Just for the record, my sister and I do not talk about this. Nor do I talk about it with any of my four sisters. I do not talk about any of it to my family - other than my mom on the rare occasion - because I know they cannot possibly get it so why even drag them into the awkwardness? And as far as my mother, well, you know how well that has gone for me in the past.

Back to me speaking up...I mentioned to my sister that I had the same infertility treatment as K did - IUI. To which her response was, "Did you have six eggs put in too?" I briefly then had to explain an IUI and answer a few other questions about it including a bit of info on how it was my DH with the "problem" and that was why we were having issues. Her next response was, "Would help if I was a surrogate for you?" Um, no. But thanks. I told her it would be a better help to me if I could borrow her husband rather than her uterus. She asked if it was expensive and I said yes. I'm still paying for it.

Her final question was, "When was your last attempt?" to which I replied, "Well, let's just say that our babies would have been one day apart." To her credit, she looked genuinely sad and then stopped asking questions.

The conversation was over. Because it is, well, awkward. Not for an infertile but for the fertile. They cannot understand.

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As far as I can tell, and I do consider myself an expert on this subject, I ovulated on CD15. I had huge ovulation symptoms and am guessing that I ovulated more than one egg again. Our timing was great. I should be hopeful. Unfortunately, I'm really not. I'm just taking it day by day and looking every night for a falling star to wish on.

I got the job. I have to let them know by Tuesday. I am completely confused and up in the air as to what to do. I'm also in negotiations with my current employer to get a higher salary. It should come to a head on Monday but in the meantime, I feel like I might throw up about every five minutes. It is a big decision and I am just not good with those. This stress cannot be good for my body. It'll feel so good to come to a resolution and move on - I just hope it is the right path. Yikes. I have had a gut feeling from the start to stay in my current job and I think gut feelings count for a lot. More money and infertility benefits count for a lot too but I don't know...decisions, decisions.

I am looking forward to a nice, long, three-day weekend. DH is working a lot but Keegan and I are going to hang out, catch some sun and play with a few "farklers" (sparklers). It should be wonderful.