We may be related but we cannot relate

My mom was fertile - very, very fertile. She had six children and five of them were conceived within the first month or two of trying. She has absolutely no concept of infertility. On the very rare occasion that we end up discussing my "situation" I always walk away from the conversation disappointed and wanting more from her. What more do I want?? I have no idea. It's just that she is my mom and I feel like she should make things better instead of worse, you know?

I told her about our IUI and she asked a few minimal questions but the whole topic was covered in about five minutes or less and then she changed the subject. That was a week ago on Sunday, IUI day. Two days ago we were having lunch together and she kept looking at me weird. I could tell that she wanted to say something to me but didn't. I knew what that something was but I didn't encourage her - at all.

Last night, she called me and talked about a bunch of trivial things and then said, "Hmmm...I've been meaning to ask you something," all nonchalantly. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, just waiting for it. She wanted to know if I felt pregnant. To which I responded, "Um, no," but went on to say that I really wouldn't. Last time I didn't feel pregnant until I started getting sick at six weeks. Then, even though I knew I shouldn't have, I went on to tell her that I had talked to my doctor and had two options moving forward. She asked what they were and after I explained them, in detail (what was I thinking?), she said, "Well, just keep plugging along." And again, changed the subject.

Just keep plugging along?? What the hell is that? What does that mean?

She just doesn't get it and no matter what she says or how she responds, it never helps. Never. It is so frustrating for me and it makes me just dread talking about it with her. I hate it. She's my mom, the person that you are supposed to turn to when you are in trouble or need advice. I know that she can't relate, I know that. But. But! I wish she would think a bit before she responds. (One time she actually told me that if I couldn't get pregnant then I should just adopt a Chinese baby because they are so darn cute.) I wish she would just try to be a little more supportive rather than ask a couple of quick questions and then change the subject to something not so serious. I wish she would understand how awful and all encompassing this is for me and go out of her way to learn more about it.

I went online this morning and ordered her a book about infertility. I am going to give it to her in hopes that she'll realize how sensitive and "big" this issue is. That is nothing to joke about or breeze over. It is my reality and unfortunately, part of who I am. She needs to get it.