Well, it hasn't arrived yet but it will. Today is CD29 and I ovulated on CD 15 so today is the day. All boob soreness is officially gone and I have absolutely NOTHING in the way of symptoms. I am not even considering taking a pregnancy test because it is not worth the time and effort. This cycle did not work.
I have been very pleasantly surprised by my DH's full speed forward, positive attitude this cycle. I have felt more like a team with him than ever before and I was nervous that when this day came, his spirit would be crushed and it would all go down-hill from there. Not so. He told me yesterday that he wants to jump right back into another IUI cycle right away which pretty much shocked me. Unfortunately, the reality is that we'll have to wait at least one more cycle, if not two for that for a couple of reasons. One, we're heading to Ve*gas for (my) work tomorrow and would miss the first four days of the cycle so no baseline. No baseline us/ = no medicated cycle.
Also, we owe the clinic about $1,200 for this shitty failed cycle. Last time we had a balance, they did not let us start a new one until the old one was paid off. With Christmas coming, our car insurance and tabs (on both cars) due by the end of November as well as all our normal bills - I just do not see us paying in full right now. It'll probably have to be spread out over two months.
Another reason - I just emailed my regular doctor about possibly doing a laporascopy in the next month. I just found out that I met my yearly deductible which is $250 so if I have the procedure done before December 31, I'll save that much and truly, every little bit helps. I'm not totally sold on the lap but I sort of figure what do I have to lose?? Worst case scenario, everything looks great and then I'll know, once and for all, that I am fine and we are truly and completely dealing with Male Factor. I'm just a little nervous about the procedure itself -and of course, what 20% of it will cost because that is what I'll be paying for. Ugh. I hate, hate, hate the money associated with IF and not having any IF insurance. It SUCKS.
Like I said, I am heading to Ve*gas tomorrow morning for four days. DH is coming with me and I am really looking forward to getting away. I knew going into this cycle that we'd either be in Ve*gas celebrating our success or drinking away our sorrows. I guess it'll be the latter.
At least we'll get to soak up the sun for a short while! It is supposed to be 75-78 degrees there and I think it is 29 degrees here right now. Focus on the positives, right?? I have a favorite quote by Hell*en Kel*ler and it says this, " Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot not see the shadows." I don't think any quote could be more true for me right now. So, that is how I am going to (try) and approach the next few days. I can't promise more than that but while we are out in the desert, where it is sunny and warm I think I can do it.
3 comments:
All the best for your upcoming cycle and have lots of fun on your Vegas trip!
Hey....I'll send you a PM to your journal sometime this weekend with lap details.
Hope you enjoyed your Vegas trip! I'm thinking of you!
-Leighann
Hi Angie. I'm a little slow to catch the comments people leave for me and just now read yours from 11/4. I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm sure that insurance carriers vary from state to state, and even the ones that serve lots of states will offer different coverage depending on each state's mandates. That said, I'm going with Harvard Pilgrim. The other provider mentioned to me was Blue Cross, but they're tough to work with and usually require an inordinate amount of paperwork. I found out that I can't buy just IF coverage- I have to buy the whole insurance plan. After considering all the different options like out-of-pocket max, co-pays, deductibles, and HMO vs PPO, I found a PPO with favorable everything for under $500/month. The hope is that I'll only need it for a few months. once I am pregnant, I can cancel because I'll still be covered under my husband's insurance.
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