The Secret

Yep, so I gave it my best shot and I tested out the theory of that book. And guess what??

It didn't work. LOL. Well, to be fair I am guessing that you are supposed to give it more than a one month trial. But whatever. I tried. All last cycle, I practiced thinking positive thoughts. I focused on the word PREGNANT and any time I would catch myself thinking otherwise, I'd give myself a mental kick and repeat the P word over and over. I didn't check any of my IF blogs even once (sorry guys!) and I wouldn't even let myself think or even look at the word infertility - which means I couldn't go to my own blog and update. Too much negativity!!

In that time I also experienced the birth of my perfect, beautiful niece. And let me tell you, she is PERFECT. I was blessed to be in the room during her birth and was one of the very first people see her. I even got to cut the cord! Any fear of negative feelings toward her or my sister vanished the moment that baby made her way into the world. Honestly, I cannot tell you how much love I feel for both of them or how much of a relief that was to me. A couple nights after her birth, I was on the phone with my sister and I thanked her again for letting me be a part of the birth and that very special day. I started tearing up and told my sister it meant so much to me to be there - I savored every moment, knowing that I may never again get to experience giving birth firsthand. I think I caught my sister off guard when I said that because she got emotional too and it was a really special moment for us. I know she now understands how much of a blessing pregnancy and birth really is.

So, here I am. Still not pregnant (in fact, today is CD1). But really, I'm doing okay. I called this morning and scheduled a baseline u/s for Monday afternoon and here we go with IUI #4.

Maybe the theory of that books works, maybe it takes awhile. Who knows? I know a lot can be said for the power of positive thinking so I will continue to do my best to head down that path. BUT, I will be back to blogging and catching up on all of you as well. I think I can manage a good balance.